Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Mommy Meltdown

I started this post last night but due to Cole's and my meltdown I was unable to finish. I love Cole more then words could ever explain and feel like God put me on earth to be his mommy. With that being said last night was horrible. For probably the past 3 days it seems Cole has had a meltdown trying to communicate with me at night. He seems to be using the sign language open or just holding my hands to try and tell me something. I acknowledge him when he dopes this and I try to help figure it out. I don't know if this issue is from the changes we have had the last week or just another bump in the road of life.  after about a half hour of him trying to communicate he got upset which in turned made me upset. I know that this is a process in life but I don;t want to see my son upset because he can't tell me what he needs or wants.  My husband tried everything including changing him for bed in hopes that is what he wanted. Needless to say after and hour I decide we would lay down and see what happens. I spent another half hour with him crying and me too before the calm down happened. He was laying in bed next to me trying hold my hands while also trying to get comfortable. I don;t know why he needs to hold my hands while trying to go to bed lately. I think my crying had to do with not only the issue at hand but the future of Cole. It makes me said to think he could be nonverbal the rest of his life. It also makes me wonder what his future will be like and if he will do anything that my husband or I did as kids growing up.  Last night made me realize that I need to find a group gathering with other parents going through the same thing. I need hope and guidance for the future of Cole. Last night as I was laying in bed I wanted so much to call my grandma and say " Please tell me what to do to help Cole." I just wanted someone to say do this and everything would be fine. I didn't call her because I knew it would upset her too and that was the last thing we needed. I need to add the goal of finding a group meeting for autism soon. Maybe then I will have some comfort or maybe just less mommy meltdowns. Please tell me how you hand your mommy meltdowns and what triggers them?

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