Thursday, September 1, 2011
Today I decide to blog about research. How many people when getting a diagnoses go to their computer and start googling away? I am at fault for this and then get myself worked up without taking in the whole article. From the time the neurologist spoke the word autism I had a bad feeling in my stomach. Everyone i spoke to told me he is fine and that nothing was wrong with him. As much as I wanted to believe it, my gut said different. My goal during this time was to actually find articles that pretty much told me that Cole didn't have any signs of autism and this doctor was wrong. I heard that a lot of doctors were quick to diagnose a child who had poor eye contact and didn't respond to his name with autism. As I read article after article that gave red flags for autism it became painfully true that my son had a lot of red flags. I went through the stages and felt alone during this time. My husband at the time didn't want to believe anything could be wrong. He thought that Cole would talk when he wanted and that he just had selective hearing. Up to this point I don't know what my husband thinks and I hope that this is his own way of coping with this. I think that to a certain point I haven't dealt with it either. I thought that I had gone through the grieving process as they call it but really haven't told many family or friends. It took me writing my blog today to realize this. But back to the the topic at hand, I still research and look up things. I look for new treatments and look into different diets and doctors. I would like to think in all the reading I do that maybe one day I will find something that would cure Cole. In all reality I think Cole and I were meant to be together. I live my life to better his which is what most parents do for there child(ren) but I have this connection with Cole that I don't think could ever be broken. A lot of people may say he is a mama's boy but I am starting to think that Cole knows that no matter what is going on that I will be the one to know his needs. He knows that I will never do anything that would hurt him and that I will study and research everything available to make life a little easier. Even though I started this blog to help other parents, I believe it is helping me too. I hope that even though I don't have any responses that it is helping someone out there. So my question tonight is what have you done to make things better for your child(ren) and you? How much research or google have you done to figure out why your child(ren) do what they do?