Bath Time

In our house bath time use to be fun. Cole loved being in the water and loved having bath time. I would say a few months ago Cole decide that he was not sitting in the bath and we would cry.  I have asked for advice on what I could do for bath time to make it easier.
Things we have tried: getting new bath toys that he liked in the water table, wearing his swim trunks and water shoes, filling the tub and emptying it when he is not in the room, filling it while he is in the tub and emptying it and recently i bought a new shower head that I could give him a shower. 
Tonight I decide I needed to try something new. I picked his cups to play with and I added the epsom salt with lavender scent. I started using the epsom salt after reading that it release some toxins from your body and helps some children who are special. When I started using this Cole had already hated the bath so I was really hoping to possibly seeing if this worked for Cole. I let Cole watch the tub fill and help me get everything we needed for the tub. After all this he was a little upset when I put him in the tub but I was able to calm him down fast by talking to him. We played with his cups for a while and I started to splash him. It amazes me that he laughed at being splashed but cries when you put him in the tub. So after being in the tub for 10 min I had him squat in the tub to see if I can at least get his butt to touch the water. We were successful in this and I continued to do this a few more times. So although we are not sitting in the tub he didn't cry except when he was first put in the tub. So I plan to try and do a bath each night to try and get him sitting in the bath soon.

Bath Night

Tonight was bath night and its the nights that I hate the most. Cole refuses to sit in the tub and everything I have tired is not not working. He cries when in the tub and makes it hard to wash him. At first I thought it was the bubbles he didn't like the feel of them so we stopped bubble baths. Then i thought he didn't like the feel of the tub so we got a cushion bath mat. The mat didn't work at all and actually made things worse. So we got rid of the mat. Next we tried a stool in the tub. Since working with EI he sits on a stool to do his puzzles and though that maybe it could work. Well tonight was try the stool night and it was a big failure. Well it started with the stool floating in the tub. As I was trying to holding the stool down and sit Cole down he started crying like I was killing him. So I I let him stand again and washed him real quick so that at least he was clean. Normally after a bath I would give him a pacifier but we are trying to take that away. Day one without was horrible. I am hoping it gets better as the days pass. But that is for another blog. So tomorrow I am going shopping for a shower head that you can remove to be able to give him a shower with out having to be in the shower with him. This is my next attempt to make bath time better. I would just like to have bath time without tears and a meltdown.  So how many parents have a child that hates the bath? What do you do to make it less of a traumatic experience for the both of you?

Books that have been a help

I figured today i would write about the books and blogs/websites that have been a big help to me. Lets start with books:

The first book i read was The Late Talker: What To Do If Your Child Is Not Talking Yet by Dr. Marilyn Agin, Lisa Geng, and Malcolm Nicholl.  This was the book I read when I was trying to figure out why Cole was not speaking. It gave insight into Early Intervention, the different types of services such as speech therapy, ect, and what types of doctors that would evaluate your child. It also gave you the rights you have to a child who may have special need. It also spoke of the different reasons your child may not be speaking.

The next book I read was Could It Be Autism? By Nancy D. Wiseman. I picked this book up when the neurologist started speaking about Cole possibly having Autism.  It went over different test they do with children, it gives little inserts from different parents that relate to the chapter. It helps you with how do deal with the diagnoses. It goes into what rights you have as a parent with a child with autism and the meetings you will have with the schools. All in all it gives you a little heads up on what you will be in for with the getting your child help.

Book 3 is Ten Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm. This book helped me understand why Cole does some of the things he does. It went over being patient with your child and the difference between wont and can't.  the book talked about sensory perception and how autism children interpret language literally. It also went over other issues and was an easy book to read. Being able to understand what Cole may be going through really made me think about is it a meltdown or an overload.

After book 3 I decide to take a break from serious book and read : Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid A Survival guide for Ordinary Parents of Special Children by Gina Gallagher & Patricia Konjoian.  This book is about 2 sisters who have child Autism and the other with Bipolar. I don;t remember how I found this book but felt like I needed to read it. I am surrounded by parents who have normal or advanced children. They always ask about Cole and never make me feel like Cole is slow. I just have my own insecurities about it and its nice to see how other women dealt with it. I am still in the process of reading this book so I can't give too much info on it but they also have a blog. I will be blogging about websites and blogs that have been a help soon.
Well I hope that this list helps some parents and until the next blog enjoy the special child that you have.

Mama

Last night was one of the best nights ever for me. Cole finally said Mama. The last time I heard that was one he was one I think. It feels like we are finally going in the right direction again. After he said mama last night I couldn't wait for him to say it again and hoped it would be soon. Thankfully it was this morning he said it again.  I have had a lot of people tell me that once he starts talking I will want him to stop. I can truly say that even when he is babbling I can't get enough. I just wish i knew what he was saying.  Having a normal speaking child is different but when you put so much work into a child to talk anything you get is great. We have spent 4 days a week with EI and a few months in speech twice a week at our local hospital. So as much as I was hoping to make this a longer post I am going to enjoy listening to my son say mama. So my question to everyone is: When did your child start talking? How much work have you put into getting them to talk?

Research

Today I decide to blog about research. How many people when getting a diagnoses go to their computer and start googling away? I am at fault for this and then get myself worked up without taking in the whole article. From the time the neurologist spoke the word autism I had a bad feeling in my stomach. Everyone i spoke to told me he is fine and that nothing was wrong with him. As much as I wanted to believe it, my gut said different. My goal during this time was to actually find articles that pretty much told me that Cole didn't have any signs of autism and this doctor was wrong. I heard that a lot of doctors were quick to diagnose a child who had poor eye contact and didn't respond to his name with autism. As I read article after article that gave red flags for autism it became painfully true that my son had a lot of red flags. I went through the stages and felt alone during this time. My husband at the time didn't want to believe anything could be wrong. He thought that Cole would talk when he wanted and that he just had selective hearing. Up to this point I don't know what my husband thinks and I hope that this is his own way of coping with this. I think that to a certain point I haven't dealt with it either. I thought that I had gone through the grieving process as they call it but really haven't told many family or friends. It took me writing my blog today to realize this. But back to the the topic at hand, I still research and look up things. I look for new treatments and look into different diets and doctors. I would like to think in all the reading I do that maybe one day I will find something that would cure Cole.  In all reality I think Cole and I were meant to be together. I live my life to better his which is what most parents do for there child(ren) but I have this connection with Cole that I don't think could ever be broken. A lot of people may say he is a mama's boy but I am starting to think that Cole knows that no matter what is going on that I will be the one to know his needs. He knows that I will never do anything that would hurt him and that I will study and research everything available to make life a little easier. Even though I started this blog to help other parents, I believe it is helping me too. I hope that even though I don't have any responses that it is helping someone out there. So my question tonight is what have you done to make things better for your child(ren) and you?  How much research or google have you done to figure out why your child(ren) do what they do?

Getting Back on Track

So as the summer is slowly coming to an end our family is trying to get back on track. In the past few weeks Cole has had company(actually family which we enjoyed), was sick and then had sick parents. During this time we had only a little to no EI. During this time I realized how much Cole counts on EI and enjoys having the structure they give him. It inspired me to actually start trying to schedule our day a little. I want Cole  to have the structure he seems to be longing. I have never been a schedule or on time person and I married a man who is also not that good at this. So this is a new challenge for us as well. My first goal is to get a bed schedule together so that he knows what time is bed time. Once this is done I can start to plan more of his day. I also spoke with both of his EI teachers to change his EI times to morning time. I want Cole to have the afternoon to make plans with friends or have some social interaction. So how many parents are more structured out there?

I am also working on increasing my sign language vocabulary. During all the family visit I chaos also had  of other things which of course made me question a lot of things. One being while Cole be a nonverbal child?  If he does become verbal will it be minimum or could we finally have a child that just talks from wake up to bed time.  Of course thinking Cole could be nonverbal makes me upset and then makes me wonder what the future will be like. It made me start thinking that once Cole is on a schedule or as close as I can get him to that maybe I should plan for the future. I need to have a game plan with Cole for the future and what goals we will have. DO you have plans or goals for your child(ren)?

Huricane

So I know I haven't posted in awhile but hearing about the hurricane coming inspired me to post. Seeing everyone panic and buying stores out of supplies makes me wonder what major supplies did everyone get for the store? I bought the basics for the house like most people do like bread, milk, and eggs. I also made sure I had Cole's favorite snacks in the house. There is nothing worse then having a child who doesn't understand why the power is out and not having treats for them. Since we are at the Jersey Shore we have had friends and family offer to have us stay there if we are evacuated. My hopes is that the storm is not so bad that we would have to leave our home. As thankful as I am for the invites I know it would be harder on Cole. The last time we did a sleepover was when he was an infant. I have no clue how he would handle a sleepover now. I have been told by a few people that children with autism like routine. I am by far the worst person for routine. I plan for major things but not for daily life.  So with our diagnose of autism I know that routine will soon come into my life. So I have to wonder if it does get bad here how will Cole handle a sleepover. I also wonder what toys and snacks would I pack for him. Keeping things as normal for him is always my top priority. SO my goals for the weekend are to make sure I have plenty of flashlights and candles along with Cole's snacks and favorite toys ready to go. SO the question comes up what have you done to get ready for the hurricane? Do you make sure that you have special things in the house for your child(ren) when you have a storm headed your way?